A Fashion Blog By Gemma Talbot

Friday, 22 February 2019

The Rise Of The Instagram Hate: Those Good Old Keyboard Warriors

What Susie says of Sally, says more of Susie than of Sally. Remember that.

Contrary to the above, I always forget why these people targeting abuse at you are doing so in the first place and more often than not see it as something I’m doing wrong. Worst still, I let it get to me, rile me up and ultimately create an insecurity that quite frankly I do not need. 

Does my job make me more insecure? Well yes when you have people picking out things that you didn’t think were really an issue to begin with, I guess you could say it does. I’m already faced with a number of my own insecurities daily when I look at myself in the mirror, do I really need a keyboard warrior intensifying this? NO, I do not! Take your basic comments elsewhere Susan, I don’t want to hear them. 

Just because I put myself out on the internet it doesn’t make me any less human. I have feelings and hurtful comments will affect me. There seems to be this presumption that because I’m happy to put myself out there, I’ve naturally developed this thick rhinoceros like skin. Actually I haven’t, as such I am just as insecure as any girl in her twenties and believe me when I say it, sometimes I get sick of seeing my own face. What many may not realise is that some bloggers in this industry suffer from severe anxiety and fear what others will say about their appearance and ‘filtered’ life they may lead. Whilst I may not have personally experienced anxiety or an anxiety attack related to my job, I can definitely understand why others have and at times I have been left to feel somewhat anxious by others comments. 

Some of you may be wondering where this little rant is coming from. I personally have noticed that Instagram hate is on the rise. The digs, horrible comments, the list goes on. I’m talking about those good old keyboard warriors that have nothing better to do with their Tuesday night than to make you feel shit about yourselves. Since I’ve started doing styling videos, I’ve noticed some hateful and hurtful comments which seem to be a personal dig at me. If my styling videos get regrammed onto a bigger fashion inspo accounts I dare not read the comments in fear that I will probably have a little cry to myself in my room. I know I shouldn’t let these people and their silly comments get to me but somehow I just do.  If someone says something nasty about you, believe it or not you begin to question whether it’s true. Is that really so hard to believe? 

Grow a thicker skin they say. This is something I am hearing more and more frequently. But why should I have to? Just because I choose to put myself out there online doesn’t mean it’s a free pass to be insulted and have abuse thrown at me which quite frankly would be classed as bullying in a normal working environment, school playground etc. I sure would like to give these keyboard warriors a disciplinary warning myself or a much more satisfying slap in the face. I’m not an aggressive person by any means but sometimes these people really make me angry. I would never in a million years write out a mean hurtful comment about someone’s appearance, even if I thought it and that is just something about these haters I cannot get my head around. Has our generation lost it’s filter? The think before you say or in this case type process. It’s calculated and in my opinion and little bit evil. 

When I receive a DM with some smart arse comment I do see this as a personal attack because it is being sent directly to me with full intent on me seeing it. How can you not take it to heart? And do these people actually think I am a human punch bag and will just sit there with a smile on my face and take it.  Whilst I have at times been considered a bit of a push over, I can present some serious sass. Perhaps I shouldn’t but I will put these pathetic low lives in their place because that is exactly what they are. I’m not a bully but if someone is going to behave in a certain way to upset or offend me I am going to give them a taste of their own medicine. The people writing these hurtful comments need to know that it is not socially acceptable to behave in this way. Like who are you and where were you taught that this is normal?

The people who think it is ok to be so nasty to others online, need a big fat slap of reality. This kind of behaviour is not ok and isn’t it a sad world that we live in whereby you have to be so negative towards someone you’ve never met before. Is your life really that bad that you need to go out of your way to bring others down? Is it jealousy? Is it boredom? Most would conclude it is but I just don’t know if I can 100% put it down to this. Sometimes I will look at the profiles of mainly girls if I’m honest and they don’t look a day over 16! Like shouldn’t you have your head in your books instead of worrying about calling me ugly? As such, I don’t know if Instagram hate or in other words trolling is something that I will ever truly get my head around. 

“you’re disgusting”

“You look disgusting in that”

“You really shouldn’t be wearing that”

“You’re ugly”

“put some clothes on”

“ 😷”

Above are just some of the comments I have had posted on my Instagram. Whilst I know style is a personal taste and not everyone is going to like my dress sense. I am 100% ok with that. It’s common knowledge not everyone is going to dress the same which is what makes an individual style so unique. What I am not ok with is when people personally attack you, your looks and appearance. I’ve noticed recently that girls have been leaving malicious comments on my recent IGTV videos. Whilst 9 times out of 10 I receive such lovely, heart felt comments it is always the negative ones that stick. Why is this? I can handle men and their sleezy comments and just laugh these off accompanied by an eye role but when it comes from another female it just comes across as bitchy and catty. What happened to women empowering each other and fixing each others crowns? I think where I’m really not that way inclined (I’d always be happy for someone than jealous) I find it hard to see how others could act in such a way, it’s almost alien to me. I just want to reiterate here that rewind 5 years I never thought I would be doing what I do full time.  I probably would have said you’d never have the confidence to do something like that and believe it or not I actually don’t. The way I see it is I’m able to use a social platform such as Instagram to do what I love and to hopefully show others how passionate I am about my job and this is just the backlash. I guess in some respects as I grow a bigger following, do I have to learn to accept that these kinds of comments are going to be more of a regular occurrence? It’s a sad prospect to think about and at times makes me want to quit what I do altogether. 

I’m naturally sensitive by nature which in some respects is a recipe for disaster in my line of work. I’m just as insecure as you, if not more so. Except the difference is where you may put yourself out to a room full of your friends, I have thousands of people who might be sitting there judging me. I know it’s only a few comments here and there and I know other bloggers have it far worse than I do on a daily basis but I would rather these people just not follow me in the first place. You want to comment nasty things about my appearance yet still follow my life? Hmmmm ok, doesn’t really make sense does it. There is something quite satisfying about the block button, especially when you see Susie is typing in response to her shitty DM you’ve called her out on. Guess what Susie, Gemma said shut up b***h 😂

It doesn’t stop there. People stop and stare, they point and laugh to their friends. I’m just over here trying to do my job and you’re trying to make fun of me. Have you never seen someone take a picture before? It’s ok for a tourist to do it but when a blogger takes a photo it’s this huge ordeal. Granted many will see my job as superficial but the way I see it, I’m able to make a living, pay my rent and treat myself occasionally to a nice designer purchase because I get to work with some of the biggest high street retailers in the UK. So to the haters who want to sit there, point fingers at me and laugh the funny thing is the real joke is on you. I’ve worked so hard to be where I am and people are insulting me when they know next to nothing about me and the struggles I have had to overcome to get here. 

I speak not just for myself here either, I know a number of bloggers who have had to take on a number of crappy jobs to pursue their dream of making it full time. Granted if you know me and then want to pass judgement fair enough but I think it’s completely unwarranted and a little cruel when you are basing your assumptions of a picture you have painted of me in your head. I’d also go as far as saying that I would think I come across in a good way. I don’t think I offend anyone and as such I reflect my passion for my job in the content I put out there on both my blog, Instagram and stories. What I have learnt in the short time since blogging full time is that you are not going to please everyone, I’d even go as far to say that people have become hyper sensitive to the point where I have to think about what I am putting out there in fear that I am going to offend someone. Obviously I am a sensitive person and as such I like to think of others and would hate to feel like I have offended someone but when it is something silly and I feel like I have to watch what I say it just seems  a little extreme. 

I feel like I’ve gone on a massive rant in today’s post so if you have made it to the end I hope that I have perhaps shed some light into the issue of trolling and how it affects me as an individual. On a lighter note, happy Friday!

Shop this post:

T-shirt - Topshop
Blazer - Revolve (gifted)
Jeans - Primark (similar)
Trainers - Alexander McQueen
Bag - YSL
Mini Fang Necklace - Missoma
Coin Necklace - Missoma
Sunglasses - New Look (gifted)

Photography by Fifi Newbery


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Gemma x

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