A Fashion Blog By Gemma Talbot

Monday, 10 September 2018

Ghosting



Casper the friendly ghost here. Girls we are taking the train to ghost town. All jokes aside, if only the term ghosting referred to the dreamy James St. Patrick who plays lead character Ghost in my favourite TV series Power. For those who may not be familiar with the term ‘ghosting’ (this ones for you Dad 👋🏼) it’s basically when a guy completely ignores you on all platforms with no explanation or reason why. Think Radio silence. Disappeared into the fuck boy universe like a ghost. Bye boy.


When talking about dating in 2018, one word springs to mind. Perseverance. If I had a pound for every time I’ve uttered the words “another one bites the dust” my bank balance would probably be looking a lot more promising right about now.


To say that I’ve had a rough run with guys over the years would be an understatement. I’ll hold my hands up and say I have at times made poor choices when it comes to men so in some respects I am partly to blame. Sometimes, I get more caught up with feelings and as a result, my logic goes out of the window. I often in my heart of hearts know that the guy in front of me isn’t right but I go for it anyways. Do I go for a broken guy in the hope that I can fix them? Who knows but I am not about to turn today’s blog post into a therapy session because quite frankly there probably are not enough words. The hand over eyes monkey emoji would be wholly appropriate right about now.


I thought I’d given up on dating apps, until my flat mate Xantha told me to give Hinge a go. Back on the dating apps I go like one of snow whites seven dwarfs. High ho, high ho. Off to fuck boy land I go. LOL. One of my main concerns with dating apps is that most guys aren’t taking them seriously. They are using them as a way to get a quick lay and as such aren’t looking for much else. Personally, the thought of going on an app to match with someone to then go around to their house for sex is cheap. I wouldn’t judge anyone who wants to do this themselves but it’s just not for me. I’ve also heard some horror stories and it makes girls incredibly vulnerable to turn up to a strangers house.


For others, dating apps are the only real way to meet someone because people just don’t seem to want to talk to each other on a night out anymore. Sad I know. So after giving Hinge a go, I matched with a few guys and got talking to one guy in particular. Someone who was a little older and different from my usual type (horray) and on paper would definitely be someone my Dad would approve on. Except his name wasn’t Rupert or Roger but it did begin with an R. I think my Dad and my friends were pleased that he wasn’t a beefcake from the gym with a gold tooth. After asking for my number, speaking for well over a week and wanting to meet up and arrange a date (he suggested dinner and drinks which I liked the sound of) I was ghosted. Shock horror. Someone who I thought was different from the guys who want to take you on a first date to Nandos was in fact not. I know I shouldn’t take it personally because it’s not as if I actually met the guy and then he pied me but somehow I still do feel offended. This guy was persistant, keen to talk on the phone and we’d spent well over a week voice noting on Whatsapp. He was gauging my plans and mentioned on numerous occasions that he definitely wanted to take me on a date. I'm left feeling that it's definitely time I’ll never get back. Thanks mate, what a complete waste of time that was. In hindsight it’s fairly obvious that he was probably seeing a number of girls at once and went with his favourite but why bother trying to pursue me in the first place? That’s the question. Back on Hinge I go. LOL.


When I thought it was just me who was having all the worst luck when it comes to men something ten times worse happened to my flat mate Xantha. She’d set aside her Friday night for a date with a guy she’d been talking to also from Hinge. I’m starting to give it a bad name, this isn’t my intention I assure you. They’d been speaking right up until the afternoon of the day they were meant to meet and then he just blocked her on every platform possible. I’m talking whatsapp, Facebook and Instagram. Completely disappeared as if he and their exchanges never existed. Why would he go to such extremes? Surely a shitty excuse would suffice? Granted the blocking was a cowardly thing to do but after giving it some thought it’s more likely that this guy who was trying to take my friend out on a date most likely had a girlfriend who had discovered his elusive ways and told him to hit the block button. This is just a glimpse into what trying to date someone in 2018 is really like. A constant stream of disappointments. There’s no point even getting your hopes up let alone feeling giddy before you go on a date. Because lets face it the date might not actually happen. The most irritating part of all is that some men have no qualms in wasting girls like myself and many others time. As if we’ve got nothing better to do.


I’m sure I speak for so many girls out there but I’m so tired of non-committal men. Twats in tin foil, pretending to be knights in shining armour as I like to call them. Guys trying to make plans and not following through. Like why bother? Men who want to spread their eggs across numerous baskets and even men who try to pursue you when they have a girlfriend. I know I can’t generalise to all men and that there are some good ones out there somewhere but I’m sort of feeling as though I’m looking through my magnifying glass trying to find a diamond amongst the dirt. I just don’t have the time nor energy for it anymore and I am just so done with not feeling good enough for men who really are not worthy of my time to begin with. Like why bother being such a time waster? It blows my mind.

Have you ever been ghosted? I’d love to know your worst dating experience. As a single girl, when these things happen to you it makes you feel so isolated and as though you are the only one going through this. It’s only when I open up and speak about my experiences does it make me realise how many other girls have also been through this crap too. Whilst it gives me little dating hope for the future, it somehow makes me feel slightly more reassured that I am not alone. Until I hopefully one day find the man of my dreams who isn't one giant fuck boy, it's fries before guys 🙌🏻



shop this post:

Top - New Look
Skirt - New Look
Trainers - Vans 
Bag - Topshop 



Photos by Bethany Elstone shot in Five Guys

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5 comments

  1. This happens to me so much I feel like I'm haunted myself; my two favourite experiences would be 1) when we were chatting for 9 months and all of sudden he stopped replying to all forms of communication and unfollowing my Instagram account that he'd spent the majority of our time together liking. We remained friends on facebook for him to continue liking everything and watching stories on other platforms. 2nd) unfriended me on everything but remained on one social where he remained peeping at all my content. FREAKS!!! I'm over at wwww.thecornerstoneforthoughts.co.uk :)

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  2. Ghosting is such a real part of life and such an awful thing to happen to you. LOVE these snaps babe

    www.petiteelliee.com

    Ellie xx

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  3. Everything you've written in so TRUE! I'd been messaging a guy for a while, seemed super nice and keen. Went on a first date which was great, got on so well and ended up staying out until 6am. He appeared to be everything I was looking for, no fuck boy vibes were coming through (should have known it was too good to be true). There was talk of a second date, which turned into a reality. We went for dinner this time but the vibe was completely different, it felt pretty awkward, I put some of this down to me and wishing I hadn't drunk so much on the first date even though nothing happened. Still I thought in general the night went pretty well and we still had a lot to talk about. He wouldn't let me pay for dinner and we even went for a drink afterwards. However, I got on my train home feeling something wasn't quite right. We text a couple of times that night so I thought maybe not all was lost. Then the next day he unmatched me on Bumble and completely ghosted me! No reply to my last text, no explanation. Nothing. Didn't hear another peep.

    What annoys me most is the cowardice in it...if you're not feeling it that's cool! I'm a strong, independent woman who can deal with the fact you're just not that into me. I've got so many friends who've had similar experiences and it really puts you off dating and makes you so sceptical of how interested any of these guys really are! You definitely are NOT alone. 😊

    F x

    www.savoirfay.com

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  4. I really love this look ! But maybe the pictures are "too big", we cant appreciate the look the same way i think .. but so lovely anyway ;) :*

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Gemma x

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