A Fashion Blog By Gemma Talbot

Thursday, 17 August 2017

Expectation Versus Reality: Are You Where You Hoped You'd Be By Now?

You know that question you often got asked at school? So where do you see yourself in 10 years from now? My honest answer was at 25, I see myself with a successful job, have bought a house and even started to think about marriage, babies and owning a dog. Just writing that down makes me want to LOL. Laugh out loud because I couldn't be further from that if I tried. At 26 years old, I am only beginning to feel as though I'm slowly starting to get my s**t together. By this I mean no drunk calling ex's (for the time being anyways), sleeping in last nights makeup and achieving less than a 4.5 star Uber rating. Anyone else feel the same? It seems as though we are all in such a hurry to grow up when we're young that we don't often stop to think about what being grown up actually entails. The responsibility of bills, managing money and learning to budget is definitely no fun. So realistically why are we all in such a hurry to grow up anyways? Whilst I'm definitely more settled in my twenties it would be nice to not have to worry about the things that come with being an adult. 

We live in a society now where it has become almost second nature to compare yourself, your life and successes or dare I say lack of to others that at some point in time you're bound to feel like a failure. Or at least that you could and should be doing better. Up until last year, I was whole heartedly guilty of this and at times it made me feel incredibly unhappy and dissatisfied with my own life. An evening scroll on Instagram made me feel inadequate that I couldn't afford to own that 'it' Gucci bag or buy my dream car. Whilst I'll hold my hands up and say I don't have the privilege to drop a thousand pounds plus on a handbag at any given time unless I nervously max out my credit card, I am ambitious and as such if I want something I'll work for it. That's exactly what I did, I worked hard, saved my pennies and bought my dream bag (that's BAE in all her glory perched on the table above). Whilst this may seem materialistic, for me it signified that I may be taking a small step in the right direction to getting my s**t together or at least learning to budget a little better. 

Doing what I do for a living often puts a lot of things into perspective. That candid, perfectly filtered shot you see on my Instagram feed paints the picture that like is perfect. Strip it back and what you're left with is a far cry from that posed shot. Reality as I like to call it. In life, not everything is what it seems and it's often all too easy to get caught up with being perfect. Often we're striving towards something and setting unrealistic expectations that are a far cry from reality so really we should stop being so hard on ourselves. Don't you think? Unfortunately in life there will always be a hierarchy and whilst nobody likes to be at the bottom of the food chain so to speak we can't all be eagles and this is ok. Personally, seeing others around me succeed motivates me to want to be the best I can possibly be but equally I won't beat myself up either if I'm not quite there. As long as I'm comfortable, can pay by bills on time and enjoy my day-to-day life then I'm content. I mean why wouldn't you be? Life is for living, not punishing yourself. If you want that doughnut...eat it. If you like that dress...buy it. Everything in moderation as they say because sacrificing your happiness will just lead to you being miserable. 

Over the last few months, rather than focusing on what everyone else around me is doing I've been doing things purely for me. This has involved trying to make a conscious effort to be healthier, exercise more and generally be more positive and do the things that I really want to and enjoy doing. I honestly feel it has resulted in a sort of domino effect whereby I feel as though I have more energy, I'm happier and things seem to be falling into place more naturally. Perhaps it's just a healthier frame of mind but if thinking more positively leads to me feeling better about myself and my life then I'm absolutely fine with that and just hope it continues. Onwards and upwards I say. I'm crossing all my fingers and toes for myself and you guys included. 

Whilst it can be all too easy to come down hard on yourself, why not focus on what you are doing right and give yourself a little pat on the back for doing a good job. At twenty-six, I'm finally moving out of my family home (a long time coming I know) and am so excited for the next chapter and whatever the future has in store for me. How about you? What's your biggest achievement to date? I'd love to know. 

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  1. My answer would be - No I am not lol. But I will get there :) I am currently also in denial about my age haha xx


  2. Smashed it with this post hun! I've been feeling the same lately - turning 30 next year made me go into a proper panic thinking about all the things I haven't "achieved" yet. But after pulling it together I realised that I need to focus on the now, and life is pretty damn good! x

    Karina | www.thestyleidealist.com

    1. Exactly! I totally felt the same but I think it's so important to focus on what you have achieved so far and actually get yourself a pat on the back too. x

  3. I honestly loved this post, so refreshing and honest - I spent all last year panicking about not being ANYWHERE near where I 'thought' I ought to be, but now, a bit like yourself - am focusing on enjoying things and doing what's right for me. And finally I don't feel in a rush anymore, things will happen when they're meant to happen :-) Gorgeous outfit too, love the yellow! http://www.hollyderyncourt.com/

    1. Thank you lovely, I'm so glad you thought so and also that you are starting to focus more on what's right for you. The yellow dresses gorgeous isn't it?! I'm all kinds of obsessed. x

  4. Loved this post girlie it made me think and feel great, like I'm doing ok!
    Thanks ☺
    Charlee | Rose above the Thorns

  5. Oh don't even get me started on this! haha, I was back in my home town recently, and met up with a friend who I also used to date. It came up that he is now single, his long term relationship having just ended. There was this moment, where, we both kind of realised, where we were at, I think. I mean, though I am in a relationship, there was this person sitting opposite me who, brought up all of these thoughts and impressions of where we thought we might be by now. As we both head closer to 40 (not yet, but he is closer), there was someone who at various times in my life, I kind of thought, one day, might be the person I could settle down with. SO strange that we are in this place now. I certainly did not think that I'd be in this situation.
    At the end of the day though, we never know where we are going to be and that is okay. Being in the moment is good anyway, what will come will come.
    And, you know how I feel about this dress!! Adore!!
    xx Jenelle


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Gemma x

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