A Fashion Blog By Gemma Talbot

Wednesday, 5 July 2017

The Lesser Of Two Evils: Insecurity and Confidence

They say a picture speaks a thousand words but does it? You can fake a smile and paint the illusion that on the surface everything is rosy but only deep down you know how you really feel. This brings me nicely onto the topic of today's blog post of confidence and dealing with insecurities. We've all suffered from self-esteem issues, we've all had points where we've felt utterly rubbish about ourselves but it's how we deal with these feelings that truly matters. 

Confidence can definitely be gained but personally it's more easily broken. Whilst confidence can present itself in all shapes and sizes having yours shattered can be awful. I'd even go as far to say detrimental. We will all experience confidence issues at some point in our lives, that really is a no brainer. If you've been cheated on, dumped or insulted in some way then nine times out of ten you would have taken a blow to your self esteem which in turn knocks your confidence. Some of my biggest insecurities come from being picked on at school or from a mean passing comment that billy big bullocks thought was funny to say at the time. 

Hands down one of the worst ways to feed your self esteem or shall I say lack of is to compare yourself to others. We're all guilty of it, particularly the society we live in today. It seems like second nature to compare your life, your looks and success to others but my advice would be just try not to do it because it never ends well. I've hands down been guilty of doing this and in hindsight it just left me feeling utterly deflated, questioning myself and whether I will ever be good enough

As I've reached the ripe age of twenty-six, I've definitely noticed a huge difference in my overall confidence. Reflecting on my teenage years, I was massively insecure which at times was projected by my behaviour. Fast forward ten years (a sickening realisation) and whilst I would say ultimately a lot of my insecurities are still present, I've definitely learn't to manage them better. For me this boils down to experience and knowing how to deal with things or is it that I've just come to accept who I am? I often take on a f**k it attitude because life is too short to be down in the dumbs and worrying about things that really shouldn't matter and are out of your control. Not everyone is going to like you, fancy you or sing your praises and there sure as hell are going to be people who are more attractive, slimmer and just generally more awesome but I've accepted that it's ok. One thing I will say though is there definitely is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. I'm sure you've all witnessed it and when the line is crossed it can elicit a toe curling reaction for me personally, I don't know about you. Get it right however and you're onto a winner. We all know that confidence in both men and women is seen as an attractive trait and often has the effect of making someone seem instantly more attractive. Do you agree?

We live in a society now where image is so important so much so people are pushing to be the best possible version of themselves. Spending more time in the gym and generally more money on making ourselves look better, it's only going to be natural to feel inadequate leading to a number of insecurities. The can of worms has well and truly been opened and definitely cannot be closed no matter how hard one tries. 

I've always liked to take care of myself but for some girls (and boys) grooming is a serious part of their everyday life, or shall I say regime. From hair extensions, tanning to the more extreme end of surgical procedures where do you draw the line? The way I see it, you become used to seeing the best version of yourself that when you strip everything back of course you're going to hate how you look. For me, it's important to find the balance and make sure you are doing something for you and not because everyone else is doing it. If you are just trying to keep up with everyone else then surely you're doing it for the wrong reasons? It also in the long run won't have a positive impact on your overall confidence because you need to do something purely because you really want to. 

You may ask where all this is coming from? The way I see it insecurity is always there, it just takes a trigger to rear it's ugly head. I went on a blind date recently and whilst I thought it went really well, I never heard from the guy again. Ghosted putting it plain and simply. A big fat OUCH and a bruised ego. I could let it affect my confidence and I sure as hell feel a little mortified inside but I'm trying to see the bigger picture. It could send my brain into overdrive leading me to question why I'm not good enough as I am sure it would a number of other girls. But the reality is he probably didn't like the way I looked but then you're not going to be everyones cup of tea are you?! So what I actually did was laughed. Life is too short and I'd rather focus on being happy instead. 

Instead of willowing in self-pity, I'll just pick myself up, dust myself down and go about my daily life as normal. What's the point in changing who you are? You're born you for a reason, so why not be the best version of you that you can possibly be! At the end of the day, make yourself a priority because you are your longest commitment. Nothing else should matter and if someone else doesn't like you for you......NEXT. 

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  1. Great outfit!
    Love your boots!


  2. Wow this is really inspiring. I think we've all been there - where we've been hurt in ways that our confidence is really brought down and our self esteem takes a hit too but you're right, why not just focus on being the best you can be. Away with all the negativity that other people bring to you and instead just focus on the positivity. It takes a lot of confidence and courage to put yourself out to the world this way and I"m glad you do because you are beautiful!


    1. Thank you lovely, I really am so glad you think so. I was reluctant to write this post because it is more personal and you put your feelings out there for others to judge you but when it's well received it makes me feel so much better. Your comment was so sweet and thank you for taking the time to read my post. It really does mean a lot. x

  3. Love This Gemma!
    Everyone has their down days, keep pushing forward x
    You're smashing it!

    1. Thank you lovely. You're so sweet and your words really mean the world. x

  4. The Lesser Of Two Evils: Insecurity and Confidence. They say a picture speaks a thousand words but does it? You can fake a smile and paint ...



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