A Fashion Blog By Gemma Talbot

Monday, 17 July 2017

Friendship: Choosing Quality Over Quantity

A friendship is like a rollercoaster and you'll experience both highs and lows. Often a bond so close that once broken feels as though you've lost your right limb. If you've ever fallen out with a friend over something major, then you'll know it's a horrible feeling. You'll experience every kind of emotion: anger, sadness and even betrayal that it can often come close to feeling like a breakup. So much so that in the past, I've been in situations where I'd much rather upset my boyfriend than my best girl friend. Is this absurd? Or just the loyalty and respect you have for a friend you hold in such high regard. 

You'll all have that one or two friends that you do everything with. From drunken girly nights out to spontaneous trips away they sure will hold a special place in your heart and you'll always have their back. On the other end of the less fun spectrum, they'll be your shoulder to cry on and the one you have on speed dial when you get dumped  or are at your all time low. Whilst I'll say I do have a few close friends who I can really rely on, two friends fall into this category for me and this would be Poppy and Sophie. Whilst they are very different from one another and perhaps there for me in different ways I hand on heart would feel totally lost without them.  I definitely feel that with regards to friendship, the more you put in the more you get back. 

Friendships definitely come and go but it's the ones that stick that are the ones to really cherish and hold onto. Growing up, I'd always had a large circle of friends. Friday nights spent drinking on Wimbledon Common would involve 14 of us making a pit stop at our local off license to pick up bottles of Glen's vodka (tragic I know) with our fake ID's. Unfortunately, I was that girl who ordered hers from the internet in an attempt to mature beyond my years. 

At the time, this friendship group was everything. If you'd pissed someone off over the weekend, turning up to school on Monday morning would fill you with utter dread. With that said, often the highlight of my day was the gossips we had in our sixth form common room over a melted cheese toastie. We'd all go out together and strangely all be really close too which is often hard to find when a friendship group is so big. This is starting to sound a little like a trip down memory lane so I hope I've still got your attention. I remember my ex saying to me "they won't be your friends forever you know" and I almost looked at him with disgust, feeling slightly resentful that he could even say something like that. Surely not? It couldn't be true. All I remember thinking was that these girls were going to be my friends forever. Guess what...he was right. 

Some friends I had at school where we would literally be classed as inseparable, I barely speak to anymore. Actually writing that down is really hard for me to fathom. I mean how do you go from being so close to feeling like that person is a stranger to you? We all lead such busy lives that only the people you really want to see get priority. That may sound blunt and I really don't mean it to but you can't deny it's not true. 

Going away to University was ultimately the turning point where some of these bonds were broken. I even lost touch of my friendship with Poppy, who to this day I class as one of my bestest friends. Admittedly, I do find the title best friend a little high school but I think it differentiates a friend from a more meaningful friendship. 

Whilst at Uni, it did often feel hard to juggle new friendships, uni life (in between lectures, naps and getting drunk), coursework and the friendships at home especially as my friends were dotted all over the country. As you can imagine, naturally some friendships faded and ultimately we just grew apart. At the time, I remember feeling incredibly sad about it but as I've grown up I've realised that this is completely normal. People change, friendships fade and you just grow apart. As sad as it is so say, it's just a part of growing up and I know personally I changed so much whilst at Uni and being away from home. I'd even go as far as saying I now prefer having fewer friends if it means they are closer friendships. When it comes to friendship, quality over quantity triumphs time and time again. Really what it boils down to is the quality time you do spend together. It shouldn't matter how long you've been apart for, rather how natural everything slots back into place when you reunite

You've probably heard the saying 'blood is thicker than water' and whilst you can't change your family, you can choose your friends. Upon reflection, this is definitely true but I can hand on heart say the close friends I do have I wouldn't change for the world. Whilst there have been points in my friendships where we haven't spoken for a period of time (some even being my own fault) it's these life lessons that have actually made those bonds stronger. Life is always going to be testing and friendships are a prime example of how you can experience highs and lows. What really matters though is that you look out for each other and have each others best interests at heart. Call me biased but I really do see my best friends as pretty damn amazing in their own right. 

You want to know the thing I love most about my close friendships? The fact I can 100% be myself, flaws and all and know that I can go to them no matter what and I won't be judged or ever feel ashamed. No to mention the fact that they are honest with me, supportive and have my best interests at heart and the feelings are 100% reciprocated. I mean what more could you ask for? Nobody is perfect and sometimes you just need your best friend to guide you in the right direction.

I'd love to know what your best friend(s) means to you. Are you with me on quality over quantity when it comes to friendship?

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1 comment

  1. Good line quality over quantity and people should go for quality, not for quantity. Because quality makes the thing lasts longer. Wonderful share and inspiring too


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