Self Confidence and Feeling Comfortable In Your Own Skin
Rather than focusing today's post on the clothes I am wearing, I thought I would write about something very close to my heart and that's the issue of self confidence. I have been meaning to write this post for a while now but there's something quite daunting about putting your feelings out there and leaving yourself open to criticism.
Growing up, I've always had confidence issues. I guess to some degree every girl does as they mature from a hormonal teenager into a woman but my lack of confidence seems to have stuck. I have always had it in my head that when meeting people for the first time they are going to be drawn to my imperfections which is why I feel I can be quite shy and nervous in new social situations. Now I know that writing this post leaves me open to criticism. It's sort of like opening a can of worms. As a full time blogger and avid Instagrammer, I am constantly having my photo taken and ultimately posting photos of myself. From an outsiders perspective, I would probably be laughed at for even raising the subject of self confidence, or shall I say lack of but as with anything in life things aren't always what they seem. What many of you may not know is that I actually put off starting a blog for the best part of a year because I was so worried about what other people would think of me. My main concern was that others would laugh and think I was arrogant for wanting to post pictures of myself on the internet. To an outsider it may come across as rather self absorbed. I was stuck at a crossroads between wanting to do something that I loved but too worried about what others would think of me. In hindsight, this was really silly of me and I regret not starting my blog sooner but at the time my feelings of anxiousness consumed me meaning by blog was put on hold.
Whilst my blog has boosted my confidence in some respects, the anti climax comes with social media. With so many girls becoming 'instafamous' solely on the way they look, it's only natural to not want to post a bad picture of yourself on your own Instagram profile. We all dread when a friend tags us in an awful picture (instantly removes tags) and with Instagram in particular this is no exception. Unfortunately, social media has not done wonders for my self confidence. I can whole heartedly say I am not a fan of the #selfie. Compared to some influencers, I am merely a pin drop in the ocean but needless to say I have experienced trolling. Admittedly, the girls who have posted nasty comments on my Instagram are young but the way I see it is, if it wasn't true they simply wouldn't say it. Some of the comments I have had got to me so much that I felt sad for days. One of my good friends even mentioned that I seemed to not be showing my face as much in my blog posts. I do feel a little embarrassed that I have allowed some girls and their negative comments to actually get into my head at all.
Whilst I am so grateful to the lovely comments I do receive, like anything it's always the negative ones that stick. Whilst I have chosen blogging as my full time profession, I am human and a normal girl after all. I think its difficult to grow a thicker skin when you don't have a thick skin to begin with. This makes me think that as girls will we ever be truly comfortable in our own skin? Especially when faced daily with so many perfect girls on social media it's hard not to compare yourself to them only to be left feeling inadequate. You see so many girls with perfect teeth, hair, bodies, skin, clothes....the list in endless that it can make you feel as though you will never be good enough. When approving what photos I put on my blog and believe me a lot do not make the cut, I am often left feeling inadequate. I sometimes feel that the pictures I post are not good enough and do I really want them to be available for others to see on the internet. I often have to remind myself that the focus for me is on the clothes which is why I started my blog in the first place. I would also like to think that this makes me more relatable to other girls and that I'm not a self obsessed twenty-something with my head in the clouds.
If anything, this blog post has reiterated that its definitely time to work on my self confidence. I know I will never be the girl to turn heads when she walks into a room but I do hope that some day I will feel truly comfortable in my own skin. I sure do envy those girls that have the confidence to just walk up to a guy and start talking to them. I know I definitely couldn't. Writing this blog post certainly has made me feel vulnerable and with that said I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject of self confidence and whether you can actually relate to this post in more ways than one.