A Fashion Blog By Gemma Talbot

Tuesday, 15 March 2016

Self Confidence and Feeling Comfortable In Your Own Skin



Rather than focusing today's post on the clothes I am wearing, I thought I would write about something very close to my heart and that's the issue of self confidence. I have been meaning to write this post for a while now but there's something quite daunting about putting your feelings out there and leaving yourself open to criticism. 

Growing up, I've always had confidence issues. I guess to some degree every girl does as they mature from a hormonal teenager into a woman but my lack of confidence seems to have stuck. I have always had it in my head that when meeting people for the first time they are going to be drawn to my imperfections which is why I feel I can be quite shy and nervous in new social situations. Now I know that writing this post leaves me open to criticism. It's sort of like opening a can of worms. As a full time blogger and avid Instagrammer, I am constantly having my photo taken and ultimately posting photos of myself. From an outsiders perspective, I would probably be laughed at for even raising the subject of self confidence, or shall I say lack of but as with anything in life things aren't always what they seem. What many of you may not know is that I actually put off starting a blog for the best part of a year because I was so worried about what other people would think of me. My main concern was that others would laugh and think I was arrogant for wanting to post pictures of myself on the internet. To an outsider it may come across as rather self absorbed. I was stuck at a crossroads between wanting to do something that I loved but too worried about what others would think of me. In hindsight, this was really silly of me and I regret not starting my blog sooner but at the time my feelings of anxiousness consumed me meaning by blog was put on hold. 

Whilst my blog has boosted my confidence in some respects, the anti climax comes with social media. With so many girls becoming 'instafamous' solely on the way they look, it's only natural to not want to post a bad picture of yourself on your own Instagram profile. We all dread when a friend tags us in an awful picture (instantly removes tags) and with Instagram in particular this is no exception. Unfortunately, social media has not done wonders for my self confidence. I can whole heartedly say I am not a fan of the #selfie. Compared to some influencers, I am merely a pin drop in the ocean but needless to say I have experienced trolling. Admittedly, the girls who have posted nasty comments on my Instagram are young but the way I see it is, if it wasn't true they simply wouldn't say it. Some of the comments I have had got to me so much that I felt sad for days. One of my good friends even mentioned that I seemed to not be showing my face as much in my blog posts. I do feel a little embarrassed that I have allowed some girls and their negative comments to actually get into my head at all. 

Whilst I am so grateful to the lovely comments I do receive, like anything it's always the negative ones that stick. Whilst I have chosen blogging as my full time profession, I am human and a normal girl after all. I think its difficult to grow a thicker skin when you don't have a thick skin to begin with. This makes me think that as girls will we ever be truly comfortable in our own skin? Especially when faced daily with so many perfect girls on social media it's hard not to compare yourself to them only to be left feeling inadequate. You see so many girls with perfect teeth, hair, bodies, skin, clothes....the list in endless that it can make you feel as though you will never be good enough. When approving what photos I put on my blog and believe me a lot do not make the cut, I am often left feeling inadequate. I sometimes feel that the pictures I post are not good enough and do I really want them to be available for others to see on the internet. I often have to remind myself that the focus for me is on the clothes which is why I started my blog in the first place. I would also like to think that this makes me more relatable to other girls and that I'm not a self obsessed twenty-something with my head in the clouds.  

If anything, this blog post has reiterated that its definitely time to work on my self confidence. I know I will never be the girl to turn heads when she walks into a room but I do hope that some day I will feel truly comfortable in my own skin. I sure do envy those girls that have the confidence to just walk up to a guy and start talking to them. I know I definitely couldn't. Writing this blog post certainly has made me feel vulnerable and with that said I would love to hear your thoughts on the subject of self confidence and whether you can actually relate to this post in more ways than one. 

Outfit details:

Bomber Jacket | New Look
T Shirt | Missguided
Shirt | Missguided
Jeans | Mink Pink (similar)
Shoes | Zara (similar)
Sunglasses | Bye Bye Bella


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21 comments

  1. So in love with those flatforms! Loving your mirrored sunglasses too X

    www.peexo.co.uk

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  2. I had the exact same feelings when I started my blog but you should never be put off something that you have a passion for! Very brave to write this :)

    http://lux-rose.blogspot.co.uk/?m=1

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    1. I'm pleased to hear it wasn't just me who felt this way. I am so thankful that I did decide to start my blog but it wasn't without my reservations. Thank you so much for your lovely comment. x

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  3. super:) xx
    Bianka
    http://ruhamania.blogspot.hu/

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  4. Love this look, the jeans are amazing.

    www.thestylecheck.com

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  5. I struggle so much with self confidence and can totally relate to you! I always compare myself to others on Instagram and it can be really depressing but I always like to think that no one is perfect :) I hope you manage to improve your self confidence because I love your blog!! Xx

    www.secretsofarose.com

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    1. I would also like to think that not everyone is perfect but Instagram can portray people in a light that makes them appear perfect and it can be slightly daunting to say the least. Thank you so much for your lovely comment. It's so nice to hear you love my blog and it really does mean the world. x

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  6. You are beautiful Gemma! Really great post, and also I'm SO obsessed with those shoes! Emily Xx
    www.youvegotsomethingineed.com

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    1. Thank you so much Emily, it's so sweet of you to say. x

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  7. Firstly - I love your outfit. Definitely something that I would wear. And secondly, I completely understand where you're coming from, Gemma. I get so nervous to tell people that I write a blog, because I'm scared I'll get the same reaction! Whilst it's becoming a much more normal thing, so many people don't quite get the whole thing, and think it's an excuse to upload "selfies". I wish they knew how much there was to blogging!

    I'm so glad you did decide to start your blog though, I love reading it Gemma x

    Ruby - www.totalmodisch.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Thank you Ruby and I can completely relate to what you are saying. Although blogging has now become my full time job I do hesitate to tell people when they ask me for that exact same reason. It can still be a very grey area and people are too quick to judge sometimes. Like with any job there are the highs but certainly the lows too. I am so pleased to hear that you enjoy reading my blog, it really does mean a lot. x

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  8. what a wonderful post

    www.thewonderlanders.com

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    1. Thank you so much, it truly means a lot. X

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  9. Such a refreshing and lovely post and honestly you are not alone in those feelings! Lack of self confidence is awful however you of course have nothing to have those feelings about lovely!

    rachel // Style Soup

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    1. Thank you Rachel, very sweet of you to say. Lack of self confidence can be awful but I am definitely trying to work on it. x

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  10. Great post and thanks for sharing your troubles with self confidence, as i've struggled with similar issues before and during blogging. I do compare myself to other bloggers a lot, and initially I was quite afraid to post photos of myself posing on my blog, fearing I would look big headed, but same as you, I do it because I love fashion. I wrote a post about the common misconceptions on bloggers a while ago, touching on a few points you mentioned here, http://lucierose1.blogspot.fr/2015/02/common-misconceptions-about-bloggers.html ...you might be able to relate!

    Love your blog!
    xxx

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    1. Thank you for your comment Lucie, it's so nice to hear you can relate to the same issues I have. Self confidence can be such a difficult thing to talk about but ultimately you have to put yourself out there if it's for something that you love. I will definitely have a read of your post too. X

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  11. Hi Gemma, Firstly can I say this must have been so hard to write, so well done! Secondly as an older lady (37) I truely believe that acceptance and confidence comes with age! Its cruel really because I am more confident now but obviously looked much much better 10-15 years ago. Young girls (generally speaking) can be very jealous and I think that would be the fuel for nasty comments, nothing else. They just see what they havent got and sometimes dont understand that they just have to work for stuff and go from there. So please dont take their silly immature and jealous comments to heart x

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    1. Thank you for such a lovely comment Vicky! It's so nice to hear you have taken the time to read my blog post and it wasn't an easy topic to write about but I did feel it was something I wanted to share. It's just such a shame that bloggers/influencers can be seen as arrogant or vain when it's often not the case at all. I just want to continue to do what I love without the negativity or criticism. It's really interesting what you say about confidence as I have heard from many people that as they get older they do tend to feel more confident in themselves, I hope this will be the case for me. X

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Thank you so much for taking the time to comment on my blog. I hope you stop by again soon.

Gemma x

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